Category: microsoft

The stupidity of Power Point itself and all those fucks with "I'm working for Microsoft" tattooed on their foreheads is simply beyond imagination. You actually cannot change language of all PowerPoint slides at once. You have to:

• do this manually (each and every slide and text box separately!),
• mess up with outline view (won't work for future-written text!),
• mess up with system settings or
• even be forced to use Visual Basic for Applications (here, here, here and here).

Thirty years of PowerPoint's development wasn't enough time for MS-Morons to figure out that global change of language would actually be a useful functionality!

On just a little bit slower computers running Windows 7 you may experience a really strange "blurry" behavior of Windows Update main screen, when downloading or installing a large amount of updates. But, that's not the only problem with this service. It also get completely wako, if you install certain fixes using offline installation packages.

...continue reading "Windows Update offline installation fuckup"

We all know about stupidities of recreating Documents folder in OneDrive each time you manually delete it. Something for which Microsoft in general and OneDrive in particular are very, very famous recently.

Today, I found something way bigger. A fuckup that kills everything!

...continue reading "Probably the biggest OneDrive fuckup!"

In case you didn't know, Windows can install a driver for an unrecognized device:

Where is your god now, Bill?

I was forced to change my phone to Microsoft Lumia 535. It was my first Windows Phone based device. The phone is generally a good pick (better in many aspects than all my Android-based phones used before). But, since it is (now) designed and produced by Microsoft, it would be impossible for it, to not have some serious fuckups. Here you'll find a list of biggest ones, that I found so far. Most of them are not too closely tight to Lumia 535 and there is a high chances of possibility, that you will find similar or the same in any other Lumia phone.

...continue reading "List of biggests fuckups in Microsoft Lumias"

I have never been using Microsoft Outlook, because this piece of software is huge, ugly and stupid. And most of all, it is a local, desktop program, thus (on contrary to all kind of webmails) you must install it anywhere in order to use it. Few days ago I was forced to start using this crap and I must admit, that Microsoft Fucks continues their long journey of bringing stupidity and fuckabillity to the highest levels.

...continue reading "Outlook’s reply-to-yourself and other fuckups"

On Windows any program can hang and you usually fell no fear, because you can always use Task Manager to kill that nasty, hanged piece of software.

But, what if Task Manager hangs...

When you try to return data from Microsoft Query 97 to a Microsoft Excel 97 worksheet, the spinning globe icon (which signifies that a query is processing) may appear for a long time, and then the query returns no data to your worksheet. If you Google enough deeply to find a solution for this problem you may find solution filed under Q168702 in Microsoft Knowledge Base. It is just a rocket-science killer.

...continue reading "Solution for Excel 97 problems with Oracle…"

This fuckup is nearly as old as Windows 7 is -- meaning it has around six years:

And six years wasn't enough for Microsoft to publish any update that would hide this dully behavior and block user access to non-functioning feature!

The biggest fuckup of all Nokia / Microsoft Lumia phones is, that you can't manually configure your Wi-Fi connection. You must use DHCP. If your local network does not offer this feature, you simply can't use that network. And you're sucked!

...continue reading "No static IP networking on Lumia devices"

Most modern browsers has evolved to have a checkbox in each alert box that allows user to block displaying next messages.

Internet Explorer creator hasn't found need for such functionality.

If you want to see an effect of that, you only need to create a new HTML page or edit existing one and put such simple code somewhere inside:

<script>
    function whyIECreatorsAreMorons() {
        var elem = document.getElementsByTagName('');
        
        for (var i = 0; i = elem.length; i++) {
            alert(elem[i].className);
        }
    }
</script>

Run it... and you screwed! On nearly every page you will be forced to shut down IE via Task Manager or you'll die clicking "OK".

I understand that Microsoft Office is eager to secure me as much as it is possible. And therefore there was introduced a "read-only" mode. How Microsoft / Windows / Office "knows" which of my private files come from the Internet and which don't? It gives me the creeps... Moreover, it seems to be a cool, security-oriented feature. But why it works for printing documents too?

What harm can I do myself or to my computer, even though the document contains a malicious code or any other kind of unwanted content if I print it out on a piece of paper? Will that execute some harmful macro? Is there any reason or sense behind this, except for pissing me off each time I have to click on Enable Printing button on such docs?

Word has a nifty feature that helps user in printing envelopes. Cool, easy and useful. All was fine in Word 2007. Few days after I switched to Word 2010 only to discovered that some moron got his hands on code responsible for this feature in newest Word. At wasted it totally!

As always in Microsoft, it is about small things that are so anoying, because are small and could be fixed within moments.

...continue reading "Printing envelopes in Word 2010"

Paint was always such a shit that many people actually called it MS Pain.

Microsoft has been fixing many things from version to version, making the one that ships with Windows XP even quite usable. Following versions were even bigger steps, with final version (Windows 7) actually rewritten from scratch, using ribbon, multi-level undo and many, many more.

Pity, that with one of the last version they removed a "small" feature that was always there -- a warning screen to warn you that you are about to loose your work...

...continue reading "A painful Paint fuckup"

I have exactly the same system installed on both my notebook and desktop computer -- Windows 7 Home Premium x64 Edition with Service Pack 1 and Polish Language Pack. On one of them (notebook) I can access external USB 80 GB 2,5 inch hard drive without any problems. On the other one (desktop) I can't access it at all.

...continue reading "External USB drive fuckup"

Since Paint in Windows 7 was the only image editor that I had handy right at that moment and since it was updated to be quite good, yet basic image editor, I used it to do a small work on a really big (as for Paint) image.

Sadly, it turns out, that it can handle some basic operations on such big images, but it can't... open an image it just saved to disk!

...continue reading "Paint can’t open file written by itself"

Try to follow these steps:

• run Computer Management,
• select Disk Management,
• select some disk,
• right click it and select Properties from context menu,
• run Scandisk from opened dialog and finally
• close the Computer management main window.

Did everything has just stop?

...continue reading "Why Disk Management is a shit?"

Gettin an unexpected error when decompressing a ZIP archive, using internal mechanism build into Windows XP (and newer) Windows Explorer (i.e. by clicking archive with right mouse button or dragging it somewhere and using proper option from menu to decompress)? Then you can be 99,9% sure that such archive is simply password-protected and encrypted in the same time. Windows can't handle such archives. But, in the same time, it is stupid enough to throw you some idiotic, pointless, meaningless errors instead of simply saying, that i does not operate on encrypted archives! What a low...

...continue reading "Unexpected error when decompressing .zip archive"

I had to activate (or actually reactivate) one of my old copies of Windows XP. Due to being tired I have entered an incorrect serial number. Windows given me a proper information, with link to Windows XP Activation Help webpage.

After clicking that link...

Nice! :] I know that Microsoft has dropped support for Windows XP completely, but this is something that actually shouldn't happened right?